Neither Do I Condemn You

This essay was originally written for a class at Sharon Mennonite Bible Institute.  After keeping it for several months, I decided it to polish and share it.

     "Let me go!  Just let me go and I'll never do it again, I promise!" I wailed.  But the man had an iron grip on my elbow and only pushed me along faster as I tried to break free. He was marching me to certain judgment from this Galilean rabbi, and I knew that by the law of Moses I was condemned to death by stoning.  I'd heard that this rabbi had forgiven others of their sins, but He was also righteous.  Surely, His mercy wouldn't quite reach to cover my sins.  
     It was just this morning that anyone seemed to care about my behavior.  Before, I was just another woman who slipped out and found intimacy in the arms of a man who was not my husband.  Now, the religious leaders were trying to entrap this Jesus in His teachings, and I was merely a casualty to their agenda.  Somehow, the man I'd been with seemed to be of no interest to them; as he was nowhere to be seen.
     Arriving at the temple, my captor shoved me into the middle of the crowd, and began loudly proclaiming to Jesus the sin I'd been caught in.  Certain of condemnation and subsequent death, I hung my head in shame.  I heard the man who had drug me here finish the account of my adultery and remind the Rabbi of Moses' law that commanded I be stoned.
      I couldn't believe my eyes!  Jesus' finger was at my feet, writing in the dust!  What on earth was this all about?  He completely ignored the accusations against me, as if they weren't even being spoken.  Keeping His eyes on the ground, He wasn't even looking down on me in condemnation.  The crowd of religious leaders grew livid at His disregard of them and demanded again that I be condemned.
     Finally, He stood up and looked around.  My heart sank.  Surely now would come the death sentence I knew I deserved.  He spoke, "All right, hurl the stones at her until she dies.  But only he who never sinned may throw the first!" (John 8:7 TLB).  Bracing myself, I waited for the first stone to come flying.
     It never came.  The only thing I heard was the quiet footsteps of one man after another slinking away as Jesus continued His writing in the dirt.  Each of the self-righteous religious leaders knew they had no right to cast that first stone at me.  Guilty, and condemned by their own consciences, they slipped away one by one until none were left to condemn me.  
     When no one was left but Jesus and I, He finally stood up and looked me in the eyes.  I quaked in fear of what this one innocent Man might say or do, but the love and compassion I saw in His eyes immediately calmed my fears.  He gently asked me, "Where are your accusers?  Didn't even one of them condemn you?" (John 8:10 TLB).
     "No, sir.  They all left." I replied shyly.
     "Well, neither do I condemn you.  Go and live an innocent life free of sin."  He said, smiling at me.  
     Wait, what?!  No condemnation, when I was deserving of death?  Confused, but grateful and free, I walked away to start my new life.  
     

Mourning to Dancing

 Note:  I have been reading through the Psalms lately, and many of them inspire me so much that I want to post about them, so if I continue to blog post about various Psalms, you know why;).

So the other night, I read Psalm 30.  And the last two verses really stuck out to me, partly because they're highlighted in my Bible, and partly just cuz....well, I love them!

Psalm 30:11,12

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
    you have loosed my sackcloth
    and clothed me with gladness,
 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
    O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

Mourning into dancing?  Isn't that from one extreme to the other?  YES!  It is!  That's how our God can do it!  He takes our deepest sorrows, pain, and hurt...then guess what He does.  No, you won't have to guess, I'll just tell you, cuz I can't help it--He turns them into joy, beauty, and dancing!  Dancing here is a spontaneous act of uncontrollable joy [source: Talitha's interpretations].  

Our response to this great work of God's is praise and thanksgiving--bubbling out of our hearts for the great work He has done for us.  Know why?  So others can see it, and want it, and seek God because they want it so much!

Forgiveness + Surrender = FREEDOM!

God has been teaching me alot about freedom from addictions; forgiveness; and letting go.

    How I need to shift my focus from simply "not doing" the thing I was addicted to, but I needed to focus on WHY I did it and take care of that. 
    A comment from a friend awhile back kinda kick-started this.  "[You turn to addictions] in response to your own internal brokenness and unfulfilled needs." 
    And God has been using that to show me how I need to let Him heal that brokenness instead of hating myself for doing the things I really didn't want to. For awhile I resisted...I just couldn't break down my "tough" walls to let Him in. I didn't want to give Him control of me...I didn't want to let go. Then something that I read last night depicted Jesus as asking me to let Him heal me. And then I just broke down. I wanted healing more than anything else...more than control; more than being "tough". So I cried out to Him. I wrote "letters" (that I don't intend to ever send) to everyone who's hurt me in some way. I wrote down what they'd done. And I wrote that I forgive them. The longest one was too...myself. I finally forgave myself rather than simply hating myself. And then I just prayed for healing. Peace flowed in, and joy.  But, as we all know, forgiveness and healing is a journey...and I see it won't be an easy journey. With Jesus leading me, I shall win!